i came up with dating rules, considering, at least according to sarah, i am a dating aficionado...or something. i've found these to work. am i talking out of my ass? perhaps. but they should be adhered to by all, or else you face the consequences. this can also apply for girls, so substitute whats appropriate. except the ashley part. that never changes. ever.
RULE #1: DONT EVER DATE A GIRL NAMED ASHLEY. stay away. ashley means doom. and doom is bad for relationships. same goes with yankees fans.
RULE#2: Stay away from people from New Jersey. If you happen to meet someone amazing from the Garbage State, proceed with immense caution. And especially girls named Ashley. If you meet an Ashley from New Jersey, hop on the next space shuttle launch and get to the stratosphere immediately.
RULE #3: Girls shorter than you are key. Anytime they can rest their chin on your shoulder when you're hugging, its really cute. seriously.
RULE #4: Follow Rule #1!
RULE #5: If they smoke, they fuck.
RULE #6: Any mix CD must include Journey. Some say Roy Orbison too, but that should go on the second mix you give them, not the first.
RULE #7: Try and go after a girl that lives within 100 miles. I dont ever pay attention to this rule, but i really should.
RULE #8: When you unlock the car door for the gal, walk the long way around the car. If she unlocks your door, she's a keeper. If she does not, proceed with caution. If she says that she was going to but didnt, say something witty in response, but move on. the thought was there.
RULE #9: Any girl that can call you out on your masculinity is a treasure. Think about it - she realizes that you're not trying to be pretentious but you have a certain level of honesty about you. and honesty is key.
RULE #10: Befriend her parents. Seriously. Pays off major dividends.
RULE #11: When hanging out, dont play Forty Licks by the Stones. Good album, but Beast of Burden will ruin all chances of even holding a conversation. This one I never experienced, but was told an awful story about it. So just avoid it. Same goes with watching Mean Streets. I did experience this one, and it wasnt pretty.
I think thats it. Sorry for the NJ trashing. But feel free to run any corollaries, or amendments by me. They might be added.